Control

I hate looking back at pictures and seeing how skinny I was

Damn if I can just get away with not eating
Not laughing
not passing out

I have a yearning for control over me.

people are always saying that I need to take care of myself
well I am mentally so hell yes!!!

Let me say this one last Time
I am going to do this
no matter what

and if you feel like something else needs to be done...
well don't tell me i know you know we know

that this is all i have left to hold onto
my past is screwed
my present is not moving
my future is hell

so why make it more that anything else

I'm sick of the diet pills.
They don't work
and i just seem to be getting fatter and fatter

so I am going to make myself a promise!

If I don't eat I win
If I eat then I cut.

sounds fair to me

just let me be

nothing can help me at this point

I may sound crazy
and I may sound up surd but

hell who knows who will say the last words

I will have CONTROL over me.