Stuck Between the Truth And the Lies

I’m stuck between the truth and lies

Truth of my past
And lies of my future

Truth of my heart
And lies of my mind

I am stuck between happy and sad

Happy to be alive
And sad that I have to live knowing he is watching

Happy that I can escape
And sad that he will never be gone

I am stuck in quicksand
It is only a matter of time before I disappear all together
It is only a matter of time before I am no more

I am stuck between being ok. And scared

Ok for getting up each morning
Scared that he will come for me

Ok for knowing that I am safe
Scared that he will break me down and take me away again

I am stuck
In the mud
In the dirt
In the sand
In the water
In the swaps of some foreign place of nonexistence

I am drowning in my own shame

In my own waves of mass destruction
I am nothing more than a piece of borrowed time

Yet something inside me want me to keep fighting

I don’t think I have the strength any more to do so…

I know that he is watching me
I know that he is waiting for me

He haunts me and tortures my mind and my soul

His evil laugh of disgust in me…..

Oh well….

I’m am suck between the truth and lies of the life I live alone.