Death

So many times
i've seen loved ones
on their death beds
crying
strangers
lying in the street
dying
slowly fading away
trying to fight death
avoid it
escape their destiny
and it never works
So many times...
i've stayed alive.
i've been saved
And most of the time...
I wish I was in their place.
I wish i were dying
dying of a broken heart
a disease
a murder
a suicide.
dying to run away from life
from this cruel dark world
that suffocates me
to stop the pain
that tears up my heart
that leaves me broken
why is it that the ones who live
are the ones who want to die the most?
the dead have died too young
innocent hearts
buried beefore they learned to love
before they saw all the joys of life...
...and the pains...
too many times
i've escaped death
but just once
i wish death would take me
embrace me
send me away from all pain.
breathe out the wasted life i own
but instead istay holding on by a thread
wondering the earth
looking for answers
that are only found in death
how am i suppossed to live a life i don't want?