Detrimental

Lying awake in pitch darkness-
Masking masochistic thoughts with shadow-
The night in its haunting does not dissuade-
It is sabotage made, veiled threats-

Too rigid for my years, in my ways?
There is difficulty in restraint, no cutting for days-
But the darkness calls in fluid black-
Detrimental…

Random, Screaming whispers in a sea of static;
Hinting worth by existing matter, not character-
“You’re not worth anything, drop dead!”
Make me believe I’m worth anything more-

Immersed in blackness, wade in deeper-
My Blank, Dead thoughts prevail, no longer weighted-
Reason is suppressed by the pain, the crimson-
Detrimental…

Bleeding to feel something, anything-
To fill a void somewhere, to find a rhyme for my:
Life, Torture, Suffering, Death-
What breed of monster is this in my head?

My thoughts are dead weight-
Matching my body, my blood-
I am Insane, Mental with the smell, sickening sweet!
Detrimental…