Ghost of Them

i want to push it out of my head,
but i just keep going back
i want to just forget,
but they keep coming back
they haunt me like a ghost,
never going away,
the awful things i've done and seen,
i keep going back to that day
to that day when my arm ran red,
but i didn't remember how,
the day i woke up in a hospital bed,
but i couldn't remember how
to that day when i saw the scale,
but i still wasn't thin enough,
to the day when i passed out,
but i decided i was still tough
to the day that i hid in my closet
and cried for two straight days
to the day i went to counseling,
to talk about my pain
to the day i watched the coffin,
sink into the ground,
to the day i realized,
he wasn't coming back now
sitting in my room,
wishing i could die
from the memories that never leave,
they never leave my mind
they don't bless me with the gift of sleep,
they don't close my tired eyes,
they're the memories that never leave
they stay haunting my mind