I seemed to have lost something...

One day I awoke to a most terrible fate
My butt had ran away, with a girl I wanted to date

I screamed, I cried, I thought I would die
Until a bird came, and pecked out my eyes.

I could not see, and I tried to excrete
But my butt was gone, it was an impossible feat.

Just then I realized to myself
Why have a butt...when you have an elf