dear god what a weird day

i was sitting on my couching watching tv
when a little green goblin jumped up in front of me

"the world is gonna end" he exclaimed
"but be not afraid,
for the survivors get their own holiday"

screaming like a little girl
i began to run for my front door
when out of nowhere came a wild boar

it rammed my knees and i hit the wall
the wall gave way and i began to fall

the wind rushing made me spit
neon green lights shone from the bottom of the pit
when down came a doctor with an emergency kit.
"i have come to inspect your wounds young sir
now be kind and say you wish you had fur"

scared i hit the ground
magically with almost no sound
when all of a sudden a talking goose said
" this doesn't seem right my friend
if it were you'd be dead"

i began to run down the hall
when i hit something tall
it was a wax figure of Abraham Lincoln saying i survived.

i dodged and kept running when i fell through the ceiling
i woke up far away in a space ship
a porcupine asked if i had brought the cheese dip

alas i woke up upon my couch
and in my hand was a fruit snack pouch
and among the characters was a little green goblin i named Ben