Eyes

In the eyes of the Christians,
I am a sinner
In the eyes of the Mormons,
I am a sinner
In the eyes of the white world in general,
I am a sinner
These eyes look so analytically,
Yet so blind

From the time I took my first whiff of mountain tobacco,
I was a sinner
From the time I took my first dose of peyote,
I was a sinner
From the time I felt and saw my ancestors call
From the depths of my shame
And self-pity
They begged me not to go down the road
So many have fallen into
Into lies,
Hate,
Death
Because of their love,
I am a sinner

“God will forgive you” they say
“For what?” I ask
“For your sins”
The sins of my ancestors
The sins of me
The sin of being born a half-breed
Half WHITE!
And half Native

Neither side fully accepts me
Nor fully rejects me either
I am the pitied,
Yet I pity them
They own the language
The culture
The right to call themselves
NATIVE
WHITE
They take for granted
What I would love
To be a full part of

So if you ask me what I am,
I can only say
I don’t know
I am Cymbre
I am a daughter
I am a descendant
I am a sinner
But proud