This Friendship is Not Working Out For Me

Tired,
Tired of feeling like I'm stand on the outside
While my friends stand in a circle
whispering and talking
with me trying to get a word in edgewise

Feeling alone and not knowing why
Why all of a sudden
I'm standing on the outside

I used to feel like I was important
wanted and loved

But now I'm standing on the outside
And it's starting to rain
Will they offer me an umbrella?

I really don't know anymore
It feels like now even I am starting not to care

I used to feel so bonded
Now I can't wait to leave for college

These friends sometimes seem to drive me crazy
Calling me Twig I really didn't mind
But calling me anorexic draws the line

I'm fed up and tired of being tickled every day
But the punches are worse

I know they don't mean too but they are hurting me
And these bruises take time to fade

Sometimes I feel like I'm standing on the outside
But I don't know how I got here

I'd give anything to be with them
On the inside

Feeling love and wanted
instead of washed up and abused

They don't seem to get
That I have responsibilities
Siblings that rely on me
What would my little sisters do if I wasn't there
To unlock the door
And fix their snacks

Work takes up the weekends
Without it I have no money
The money that helps pay for almost
All those activities my friends and I do
And the gas it takes to drive from place to place

I try my hardest not to miss to much
But one missed thing
Seems to leave you in a fuss

When you call me on the phone
It seems we only speak about you
Correction...you speak about you
And I seem to be ignored
When I talk about me

Oh and I'm sorry I talk about my boyfriend
It seems like even saying his name
Is talking about him too much
You say he's all I talk about

But when you get only maybe five minutes to talk
You'd talk about what's most important to you too
Wouldn't you?

So I'm sorry that I talk about him a lot
But maybe if you didn't just talk about you
Sometimes speaking over me even when I try to speak
I'd not talk about him so much

I'm getting to the edge of my cliff
But I'm stepping back from it and you both
Before I'm forced to jump

'Cuz I'm tired of feeling alone
While being surrounded by people

____________________________________________________
Once again we were fighting both of these poems ( Alone) were actually written in September but I wasn't on at that point. My friends and I have actually started to talk again but things still aren't the same as they were when we were little