Funny and Random

I am from Texas where everything's bigger,
everything that is except me.
I'm not tall or fat or stupid,
and I definitely don't have a pet bee.

I like ice cream and cake
and long walks on the beach.
I talk and I breath
but I definitely don't preach.

I have my beliefs
and you'll be the first to know,
that I, a writer,
do not like the snow.

My stomach is grumbling
and I should be asleep
but I kind of want a snack.
Anything but a peep.

Marshmallows are nasty
like Miley Cyrus.
Her face kind of
reminds me of fungus.

I bought new shoes
the other day.
Shortly after talking to Erik
who's gay!

I like writers who laugh
at their own pieces of work
because I know for sure
that I laugh like I just got a spork!

You know what's funny?
I'm coming up with this off the top of my head.
It sounds pretty stupid
cause I should be in bed!