Crawling Up Towards the Bottom of the Earth

I am crawling up towards the bottom of the Earth.
Digging myself a hole, I find the valuables.
The fire is all I see.
For me, it burns the lessons I have learned.
Teaching me one as it does so:
You always have the chance to start over.
Always.

I am crawling up towards the bottom of the Earth.
There I notice the bad and the good.
Here is where my sides keep going back and forth.
I am unable to choose.
Here is where the diamonds show who I truly am.
Their beauty humbles me, seeing that this is me.
It’s who I choose to be.
Another lesson here is learned.

I am crawling up towards the bottom of the Earth.
The silence here is deafening.
I scream, I yell, I punch the air.
I notice that nothing happens.
My screams will never be heard.
They will never penetrate these walls.
It is at this moment that I realize:
Yelling does you no good at all.
And this became my lesson, just for now.

I am crawling up towards the bottom of the Earth.
This is where I know.
I am a hypocrite.
No doubt, there is no doubt at all.
Everyone is.
I look at them all; I cannot see their faces.
It doesn’t matter who you are.
One man dares to reverse his curse.
He jumps and admits he has become what we all are.
In that moment, he is free.
As I look up towards the sky, I don’t see one.
But I remember the endless words I said before.
I AM A HYPOCRITE.
I AM A HYPOCRITE.
I AM A HYPOCRITE.
And in that lesson, I am free.

I am crawling up towards the bottom of the Earth.
This is the place where we all die.
I sit and watch and do not cry.
I’m not sure why I don’t feel anything.
I didn’t know them; they were one in infinity.
And then again, so am I.
I am one in infinity.
People die, new people are born.
And there are people who die, and it affects others.
Ones that they loved.
Only a few, but still they loved.
At the bottom of the Earth I realize that my heart is cold.
I have never loved like they loved.
People will miss them, and soon all will be forgotten.
As I die, as the door closes on me, I start to realize.
And I start to cry.

I am crawling up towards the bottom of the Earth,
Reading all the things I’ve written.
I read them and notice, they are all about me.
AM I SO SELFISH THAT I CAN’T WRITE ABOUT ANYONE BUT MYSELF?
I am my own character.
No matter how many times I write about someone else,
It’s always me.
Always me.
Is that a bad thing?
I’m not sure.
Maybe the lesson here is to let things be.
And maybe, eventually, I’ll start to care about other people.
I’ll relate myself to them.

I am crawling up towards the bottom of the Earth.
Forever I will sit.
I will not stand; I will not lie.
Neither of them are truthful.
To make a stand, you must stretch the truth.
To lie, you will do just that.
I will sit like this forever.
Telling myself the horrible truth.
The lesson I learn sitting here,
Is not that the truth will set you free.
But that you must move on from the horrible truth
And accept things the way they are.
In the moment where I accept the Truth:

I can start over.
This is who I really am.
Silence is deafening.
Yelling at myself is useless.
I am a hypocrite.
I am one in infinity.
My heart is cold.
I have never loved.
I will die.
I am selfish.
I am my own character.
I will let things be.
I will sit.

And then my wings appear.

I have moved on.
I have accepted.
I have learned.
I can look into my eyes.
I can face myself.

I do not sit, stand, or lie.

I fly.
I fly.
I fly.

Up towards the endless blue sky.

I CAN FLY.