My Worst

You always expect the worst in me.
With every little slip.
You always expect me to fumble.
And to never come out of it.
You always expect complaints.
From the many phone calls.
Thinking "No one could ever praise her, look at all her faults!"
My friends are not responsible.
They only heal the pain.
That you wait for me to screw up.
And bring them on to blame.
I didn't even lie to you.
Don't throw that shit on me!
But if I tell you this.
I know how you would be.
Is it because I made you cry?
Many times ago.
What can make up for it?
I really tried you know!
Is something else inside you?
Something that makes you hate?
I wish I knew.
To start on a clean slate.
I'm always lying to you
IS what you probably think.
So i sit here writing this
Feeling my heart sink.
It's funny how I try to tell you I'm okay,and you start to fight.
Cause when i look into your eyes
I know I'm never right....