This Sadness

This sadness
I don't know
Where it comes from
or why
but it's here.
Suffocating,
cutting me off,
like a hard blow.
I want to scream.
I want to cry.
I want to fall,
but I don't
want to let go.
Because if I let go
what would happen?
the answers unknown.
I could be happier,
but maybe not.
Can I take that risk?
No I can't.
This is better
then n not knowing.
My fear,
keeps me here

This sadness
that comes
out of no where.
I physically can't breathe.
A pain in my chest.
A stab
through the heart
and I panic.
I shut down.
My eyes close
as I try
to concentrate;
To come back;
back to here,
to now.
I try to move.
Move through the pain;
Move with the pain.
It only works so well,
since I can't let go.
I won't let go
because
what would that do?
Would things get better?
Or worse?
So I hold on.
To something
that's never coming back
and the pain
that comes with it.