Admit It In A Foreign Language.

but alas
maybe I should admit
to myself; to others
that maybe I'm wrong
maybe they're right
dear God forgive me
for I think I've become a sin
a tragic end to a happy day
bring me some peace
in forgiveness and endurance
I promise
dear God
forgive me
I never meant to become like this
I've tried
do you believe me?
I have tried
dear God
please don't give up on me
I won't give up on myself
that's not what they'd want
not what I want
forgive me
for I've made a new record
a new all time low
for the list of wrongs
dear God
let me know
if there's some sort of
peace elsewhere
let me know if
you can forgive me
I've said things
things I shouldn't have said
count this as my apology
but not as my suicide note
dear God