Curious, How I See You

comfortable and calm with one another
the few of you, your own little family
i'm on the outlines closely watching in
not sure i want this but you never invited me in
you're so relaxed together but when i approach
you're cautious and careful like you'd be with most
but when you're alone again you smirk and share your secrets
for some reason i'm beginning feel angry disgust
whenever i look at you

i'm my own person, i have my own world
'my' friends 'my' work 'my own' secrets
you might want to be in my world
but some little part of me wants to share your secrets.
But i focus and satisfy my empty self with random remorse
read my books and ride my horse
carry on through every devoid and lonely day
no longer waiting for you to say:
“Come hang with us, sis.”