My Failed Success

I close my eyes, but I can feel you watching.
Interrogating
You were always good at that.
A gaze that breaks me, you think I'm okay.

I'm not quiet asleep, not quiet awake.

Each ray of sunlight is caught
Until I finally see what you helped bring
Into my reality.

Almost blinded by a dark moonlight
I fail, once again
To see what you love, what you want.
I need to know, but can't seem to get any closer.
There's not much to it, really.

But this light is bright
On anger and frustration.
Angry at you for being the way you are, frustrated at your decisions.

Though I'll love you forever,
My failed success.