Great start to a new year.

Do you ever think of what could be?
How perfect life would be if you could just hold him close to you heart and not have to hide it?
And not have to just imagine good times,
but actually live them,
and forget the bad ones?
Don't you just hate how every moment of every day you think you see him,
but it's just a shadow or a hilusination?
Don't you just have a feeling everyone else is lucky?
How they get to celebrate every breath they take,
and every hardship they overcome,
and every wound they stitch up with that one person they love with every ounce that is even possible to love with,
but most importantly, who love them back?
Do you ever want to break down at his feet and just scream at him?
And ask why he doesn't love you?
Just ask why you can't share happiness together?
Do you ever think, oh im sorry, KNOW no one on this planet could possibly add up to him?
and if he was to die, you would have to die along with him?
Well, if you are so perfect that you haven't felt any of this in your whole lifetime, i'm truly sorry.
Cause I feel this every. day.