Suffer in Silence

As I sit here and
I suffer in silence.
Staring at the ceiling,
thinking, wishing, dreaming,
of the day
where all my pain and despair
is taken away.
How did I get this way?
Isolated from everything meaningful,
anything that came close.
The irrregular feelings inside,
This isn't me.
Take it away, take it away,
Their affection is fake,
as fake as the smile I possess.
And then it happened,
the beating, beating of my heart
began to slow to an irregular pace.
I let the air escape my lungs.
As soon as I was almost taken, taken away,
I realized,
Is this what I truly want?
Should I just give up so easily?
A spark of reconcile came through me,
I'm not done here,
I have so much more to live for.
No longer will I suffer in silence.
This is who I am now.