I Mean It, I Swear

When I used to look into your eyes
I would see the two things that would
make me happy, with everything going on.

When I would look up into your eyes they would
sparkle like everything is amazing and nothing
else matters.

Now when I look into your eyes I see sadness
and regret. I know why I see it there, I know why
I see the sadness and regret.

Me.

I never meant to be a bitch, I never meant to hurt
you in any kind of way. There are so many things
that I have to learn, with all of the relationships
I don't know who to trust and why to trust them.

I want to tell you that I love you and I want to mean it.
I want to be able to hold you and not feel regret or
anything else that is not a good sign. Yes I get jealous
at times but I know for a fact that you will never hurt me.

But

There is something deep down inside of me that Is just makeing
things so hard for me, there are so many times where I think that
this relationship is nothing and that it should have never happened.

But when i think of the times we had together that were funny and good,
it makes me think to my self why I would ever want to give you up-what is
this feeling.

I am so confused
I am so lost
I am so hurt
I am so
ME.