Elusive Perfection

Perfection is elusive
Well, it is for me
Everything I want
Is what I'll never be

Can't fit into the clothes that taunt
Can't date the guys I want
Fear is what I've gained
And peace is what I've lost

These permanent bruises
I call them tattoos
Self inflicted torture
Is what I choose

I don't want sympathy
I don't need help
I'm not even good enough for me
Let alone someone else

The reflection I see
I want to disappear
I can't bare looking
I can't stand the fear

I'm not satisfied at all
I don't want to be me
I can't take the laughter
And the people that tease

When will this be over?
This mental and physical pain
Will I ever find relief?
Will I ever change?