How do you sleep at night. A letter to my mom

I really wonder how you sleep at night
Knowing that I'm up stairs crying myself to sleep
How do you live with yourself knowing that evey morning
I wake up missing my dad
How can you let you daughter grow up with out a dad?
I miss him soo much even if I don't know who he is/was
I remember the days I thought your husband were my dad
Why did you ever tell me that he isn't?
I can't say I hate you because I don't
I love you with all my heart but I still don't understand
Why you don't let me know who he is.
I'll listen to you when you tell me why he's not in my lilfe.
and if it's becasue he's dangerus I'll not seen him..
I know that you probebly just protecting me.
But I still need to know..
So I can have one night with out crying myself to sleep
Becasue it hurts soo damn much..
To see other girls with there dads..

Please mom tell me...

Please dad find me..