White Lie

I’m hearing you
I’m seeing you again
Why?
I thought I was done
I thought I was healed
I thought I was finally going to be
Okay
Am I just that lonely?
Are you just that lonely somewhere?
Tell me what it all means
And maybe,
Just maybe
I can sleep tonight

I don’t want to hear you anymore
I don’t want to see you anymore
I don’t want to remember
What I never had
Each flutter of my eyelashes
Flip of my hair across my cheeks
Pressure against my heart, hands, legs
I remember hands and eyes
Tracing those same paths
And I can’t breathe anymore

Maybe I hoped I was okay
Maybe I lied
Either way,
I miss you
And I still love you
And it still hurts