masks of a lesser pain

final.

his death.

deal with it.
the emptiness and pain.
wait for the denial, the anger,
wait for the tears, the explosion.

there's nothing.
empty pain.

you want to scream
but you can't.
you want to cry
but you can't.
you want to forget it...
but you can't.

there's nothing.
ugly void.

life.

go on as you should.
they want you to talk about it.
they want you to share your feelings.
but you aren't them.
what good will it do.
it only hurts.
find distractions.

solution.

fill the void.
replace the emptiness
mask it with a lesser pain.
mask it with love and hate.
mask it with rejection.
forget yourself.

let them in.
their smiles and
smooth glances...
make them smile.

i tell them to use me
not with my heart.
with my eyes, my look,
my coy touch.

let them out.

result.

it is done.
they are gone.
i got what i intended.
they used me.

my father is dead.
my promise is broken.
my life before, is gone.

now.

pain is greater.
emptiness is hollower.
i'm lost.

father forgive me...
for i know not what i do...