The Show

I don't feel
I never seem real
I don't know whats happened to me
I'm no longer who I used to be
That way I am now
I don't know why or how
I feel like I'm beyond being me
I know I'm alive; or at least, I used to be.
I don't know if I'm alive any longer
I'm getting weaker; not stronger
It's hard to live the life I had
I'm doing anything that I can.
I don't even know if it's worth it anymore
This is so rich yet so poor
I think I want to die
I think it is time to try.
This is it; I'm ready
Hold it now, stay steady
Don't jump yet; you've got to yell
But soon you begin the road to Hell.
"Everybody listen up!
This is the day that I give up!
Nobody can stop me; I'm ready to go
Now pay attention, and watch the show."
People turn their faces to me
I feel so special; like I'm starring in a movie
I smile and wave at the faces as white as snow
They cheer for me to go on with the show.
When I begin to let go, my heart starts to beat
I'm holding on with only my feet
Their palms are waving at me; they're still cheering me on
Look at that satan! I won!
As the wind hits my face
I feel disappointed and out of place
This just isn't all it's cracked up to be
I close my eyes and soon I can't breathe.
Sirens. Screaming. Rushing in my head.
Oh no, I'm still not dead
I'm being lifted and the pain flows in
Look at that satan...you win.