craving your normalcy

im smarter than you think and
i see things that you don't.

normalcy.

ah to be normal.
to walk amongst you
and think what you do.
to see what you do.
to be simple like you are.

to be 4 and
not be able to spell.
to be 9 and
not understand adults.
to be 16 and
just be a high schooler.

to be an adult and
get a job
get married
get a white picket fence.

i say it not to brag
i say it out of sadness
i say it because
i'm going mad.
slowly
and surely.

i want a day
in the life of you.
i want a day
where i think normal things.
where i don't think at all.

what doesn't kill you
makes you stranger.
words of a mad man
in a fictional film but
not false.

headaches that
you diagnose as
no caffeine
no sleep
need food
need pills
but it's not any of
the above
it's thoughts
it's memories
it's the constant
constant
comprehension.

sleep is not even
peaceful.
dreams are vivid
and full of my days.

normalcy.
oh how i crave it.

you think i'm normal
don't you.
when you see me.
i put on a good act.
or at least i try.

you have no idea and

trust me when i say that
it's not bragging when
i say that

i'm smarter than you think and
i see things that you don't.