I'm...

i'm never normal
never ahead
never with it
never there

i'm always stressed
always behind
always dreaming
always away

i'm wishing for a break
wishing for a smile
wishing for a guy
wishing for a happy day

i'm listening to my music
listening to my computer
listening to my fan
listening to my typing

i'm feeling my legs shaking
feeling my chapped lips
feeling my sore finger
feeling my itchy arm

i'm usually confused
usually pessimistic
usually misunderstood
usually self conscious

i'm writing a poem
writing my feelings
writing my thoughts
writing my disorientation