Rain Storm

With a heavy heart
I listen as they talk
They talk about the things they've done
The things they want to do

I try to tune them out
Only to fail
For once,
I don't want to hear what they have to say

They keep on talking
Apparently, they know their stuff
They know it too well
Or do they?

Do they know of the dangers?
The law?
Their family?
Their career?

As they continue to talk,
The tears form in my eyes
The thunder clouds form in the sky
The storm has begun

I never let them see,
How much they've hurt me
I'll let the raindrops outside
Be my metaphor

On the inside
I am raw and bleeding
Nothing is intact anymore
I hurt so much

Once again,
I have let my friends down
I don't know how to help
Don't know what to do

I cry on the inside
Letting the storm rage
Torrents of tears
Bleeding from my heart

I'm not good for anything
Not anymore
I used to know how to help
Now words only fail me

I try to do my best
It used to be satisfactory to do so
Now it gets me nowhere
Does no good

I've left them
Standing in the cold, hard rain
No umbrella,
No shelter

No way to escape the pain
They're too high to even realize it
Laughing and running around
Not feeling the pain

I do
The icy needles stab my heart
Willing me to die
And I, I let them

I let them hurt me
I let them hit me
I don't deserve to live
Not if I'm not helping

With one final cry,
I fall to the ground
A helpless body
Finally giving up

The rain forms a curtain around me
Allowing no one to see the way I gave up
Like a coward
Not even fighting

The rain continues to fall
The sun doesn't come up
No rainbow to shed a little joy
No perfect ending this time