The First Step

Do you ever question your sanity?
Because sometimes you feel alone when
you’re surrounded by the people that you think
are supposed to care?
But when you’re alone,
you think clear and there is nothing
to be afraid of?

Sometimes you find yourself stuck
in the middle
of what you really think
and what you meant to say.
And it hurts when
people you might have cared about
go and stab you
in the back.

I think I might be one of those people,
that you might have cared about.
A bipolar best friend,
or a star-crossed lover.
Most people would call me a tattletale-
With no life, no heart,
and no soul.

I’m not as good as people think I am.
I cuss and throw tantrums and
I don’t think I’ll ever be as virtuous
as my religion teacher expects me to be.
My best friends don’t really know me,
I think.

I don’t like people like me
when I see them on the street.
But I think I love me,
like that book said I should.
“Because loving yourself is the first step,”
in whatever the hell I’m trying to do.