Change?

I can feel the way people look at me
I can hear their thoughts
I never thought that knowing, would ever hurt this much

I try to change myself
To be prettier
To be smarter
To look better
So maybe he will love me

But that doesnt matter now,
He loves her.

My heart hurts and I cant breathe
I dont really think I want to

But maybe if I change some more
He will love me too
So I look and think "what does she have that I dont?"
Im prettier
Im smarter
But then I remember

I have a baby and she doesnt
Shes closer to him than me their distance isnt over a few miles..
Our distance is over a thousand miles..

Maybe he just wants to get laid
Maybe hes just using her

But then I remember hes not like that.

Maybe if I change myself it will be for the better
Maybe if I make myself the opposite of what I am he'll love me

Dont change yourself its not worth it everyone says

But they dont understand.

Id give my life for him.

Its nothing crazy,
I just truley care for him with all of my everything.

And I thought he felt the same...