Restricted
I stand here restricted
I cannot say what I want to say
I cannot break away these chains
Self-doubt, fear, or apathy
They bind me,
Keeping me from being me,
Keeping me from loving freely.
No, don’t feel bad for me…
These chains are my own making
I am not breaking
Free
But what is free?
Words like mandated, responsibility, and pc –
Keep me
From telling the truth
From letting others see me.
But what truth do I wish to see?
How do I help those who need me?
Do I lose their trust for what they don’t see,
Or beg them to unlock this padlock with their own key?
Do I search for a temporary fix -
What I’m supposed to do?
Or do I try to push for the healing of their souls too?
But I keep walking this line.
This line that restricts me.
The funny thing about this line is that it has no flexibility.
It just keeps going in one direction-
And I don’t know if I agree with where it leads me.
But I walk this line.
From every side I hear a different message.
Each one pulling me but keeping me
On this line that won’t release me.
I want to do what’s right,
But what is right seems to be lost to me.
I want to love and heal,
But what is the best way?
Even my friends disagree in the advice they say.
It seems that I need to start a new day,
Walking in a new way.
No more following the voices around me,
But searching above me
For one who loves me
My closest family.
To hear a true voice, to see a true light,
To love a true love
That doesn’t separate for separation’s sake,
But moves towards wholeness and a peaceful state.
That sees the fears on others' downcast faces,
And not only the path she obsessively races.
That treats disrespect with strong but loving honor,
And wisely seeks the truth, when others try to con her.
That rubs wrong when rubbing wrong is right,
And shuts up when listening makes the darkness light.
To hold in her hands the gems of others’ souls
And know that these are worth more than very precious gold…
This is me.
* My Slam Poem
I cannot say what I want to say
I cannot break away these chains
Self-doubt, fear, or apathy
They bind me,
Keeping me from being me,
Keeping me from loving freely.
No, don’t feel bad for me…
These chains are my own making
I am not breaking
Free
But what is free?
Words like mandated, responsibility, and pc –
Keep me
From telling the truth
From letting others see me.
But what truth do I wish to see?
How do I help those who need me?
Do I lose their trust for what they don’t see,
Or beg them to unlock this padlock with their own key?
Do I search for a temporary fix -
What I’m supposed to do?
Or do I try to push for the healing of their souls too?
But I keep walking this line.
This line that restricts me.
The funny thing about this line is that it has no flexibility.
It just keeps going in one direction-
And I don’t know if I agree with where it leads me.
But I walk this line.
From every side I hear a different message.
Each one pulling me but keeping me
On this line that won’t release me.
I want to do what’s right,
But what is right seems to be lost to me.
I want to love and heal,
But what is the best way?
Even my friends disagree in the advice they say.
It seems that I need to start a new day,
Walking in a new way.
No more following the voices around me,
But searching above me
For one who loves me
My closest family.
To hear a true voice, to see a true light,
To love a true love
That doesn’t separate for separation’s sake,
But moves towards wholeness and a peaceful state.
That sees the fears on others' downcast faces,
And not only the path she obsessively races.
That treats disrespect with strong but loving honor,
And wisely seeks the truth, when others try to con her.
That rubs wrong when rubbing wrong is right,
And shuts up when listening makes the darkness light.
To hold in her hands the gems of others’ souls
And know that these are worth more than very precious gold…
This is me.
* My Slam Poem