If only.

I try my best, it’s been too long,
I work, I laugh, I force a smile,
I listen to your tales of him,
Biting my lip to hide the pain.

You talk of how amazing he is,
How funny, how smart, how selfless and unique,
It kills me to know, you’ll never know,
Of the love and hurt inside me, of how it should be him here now,
Hearing tales of me.

If I only I could tell you, try to stop this pain,
Both inside and physical,
But I can never tell you,
I wouldn’t do that to you,
But if only you could love me.

****I know it doesn't really fit in but I just wanted to get it out, read Fly On The Wall, its about the same girl but a better poem****