On that one rainy night

On that one rainy night
it just had to start
The beating the slicing
the stab through the heart
In my room in the dark
alone all day and night
Wondering if i should continue
hurting myslef in terror and fright
Torturing myself without control
using my fists and then the knife
The loss of breath in me
i was slowly yet surely taking my life
At first there were tears coming quick
but after many hours the tears have stopped
Twisting and shoving the knife in me
made it feel like my heart had dropped
My eyes twitched after stabbing too much
but there was no pain until it started out slow
The fear in me went away but the feeling did not
i knew that this madness made my mind blow
Then the blood started flowing and splurting out
the tiny driplets were ruby red
My vision got blury but i still saw the blood
there was so much that i knew i was pronounced dead
I slightly drifted backwards hitting the ground
and i felt the knife still in me
I probably looked extravagant
but the process of my work made me not want to see
My fingers go numb and my body feels dry
but i manage to shift my head in the direction of the window
I realize that now its morning and the rain has ended
and the outcome releases a satisfying rainbow
Now i know my face looks dumbfounded
after seeing that miraculous sight
It makes me feel like i have been defeated
on that one rainy night