Wasted Years

He spent years
Trying to make me best.
It all went to waste
That night.

The light left his eyes,
I could feel it,
In my heart,
When he pulled that trigger.

You can say what you want,
He was everything to me,
He showed me to be best,
But I let it all go.

He tried so hard,
To make me into what he knew I could be.
He showed me everything,
He gave me anything.

I let it all go,
That night,
My light
Picked up that gun.

I can still hear his voice,
I see him, sometimes.
Am I going insane?
Or is he keeping me sane?

I dream about him, too,
He always says the things
That give me hope,
And he's always smiling.

I must be losing my mind,
How do I think these things.
He was torn apart
By the darkness of this world,
Why would he smile?
I should have saved him,
It was my job,
And I failed.
I should have shown him the light
That he brought to me,
And I think I might
Have tried, but I can't remember.
I just see visions of blood,
I just see his brother crying,
Telling me that he couldn't stay,
Telling me he was leaving,
But he'd be back when he was needed.
And Gods, do I need him now.
I hope he's alright.
He deserves happiness,
After all,
It was I that failed his family,
It was I that didn't save his Brother
From the darkness of his own soul.

He wasted years on me,
Trying to make me the best I could be,
He lent me strength,
Oh, how it all went to waste.