The Fight I Am ALways Fighting - Addiction..

Every time I bleed...
The silence and confusion is destroyed
with the roaring sound of emotions which were bottled up
so that others would not judge me..

I end up feeling happier...
Like everything that I have know -been made to believe-
doesn't matter or count for anything anymore
and I am free to be myself instead of hiding..

But then the addiction kicks in....
It leaves me drained, ashamed, wishing I wasn't me,
and craving for the next piece of 'freedom' it may bring..

Even though I try...
This addiction will not stop.
I can't stop..
I can't stop bleeding..
And even though I may say I'm fine
and look fine..
I can not and will not stop screaming on the inside...

It always brings me to the start again..
The fight to stop...
Even though I try ad may slip up...
I gain something....

The will and the knowledge to help others who may fall into this death trap...