Afraid

I want to feel the pain of the blade, but i never could make that first slash.
I want to feel the pain fo the ropes, but i never could tie that knot just right.
I want to feel the pain of the burns, but i never could put the fire to my arm.
And now, more than ever, i want to feel the pain. Now more than ever
I want to use the blade, use the rope, use the burns to stop the voices.
And now i grab the blade, ready to slice away. As you enter the room,
The blade crashes to the floor and i collapse. How could i be so stupid?
Miss the one thing that makes me afraid. That one thing is you.
"i love you..."