Take the pain away...

Another tear in this black heart,
time for the destruction to start.
For the wall to be rebuilt,
as I cry under my quilt.
Eating seems so pointless,
and my head is one big mess.

Use the drugs to block the pain,
or spray a cloud of bloody rain.
Who would noticed another scar?
But I don't want to go that far.
Drink my sorrows into oblivion,
shit where has all the booze gone?

I sit alone in the darkened light,
seeking that eternal light.
Going over it in my head,
why is the love dead?
My heart wanted to love you,
but maybe somehow my head knew.

I'll try and laugh when I am sad,
because of you I act so bad.
I'll put on make-up so no one asks,
what's going on behind that pretty mask?
People say they understand what's wrong,
but they don't even hear my song.

How did all get so messed up?
Filling yet another bloody cup.
This wasn't how it was meant to be,
Separating the fucked up pieces of me.
I wont hide behind a mask any more,

I wont wait till your out the door.

I know I'm partly to blame
and things will never be the same.
It took to long for me to realise,
couldn't hear above my heads protesting cries.
That even though it's battered and bruised,
and in the past has been misused.
My heart has long since belonged to you.
If only you knew...

I run my hand along my arm,
remnants of my self harm.
If only I could say, “please stay.”
“please help take the pain away...”