Alone in the Dark

Alone in the dark laying in bed
Thoughts suppressed during daylight
Are finally set free
And so I am thinking

Thinking about back then
The pain you caused
The effect you had
The effect that still holds

Even now I remember the feeling
Your hands on my skin
Your mouth attached to mine
I just wanted you to stop

My heart beats in overtime
And I just want to escape
Just want to forget your face
Want you to disappear

My breathing speeds
Short frightened gasps
And I want you gone
Want you to release your hold

My eyes sting with tears
I refuse to let them fall
Refuse to let you see
Just how weak you made me

I keep my smile
It's plastered onto my face
I control my breathing
Even when it makes me dizzy

I suppose I'm stubborn
Even when I'm dying inside
I won't let them know
Even if it kills me

Disgusted and discouraged
Frightened, afraid,
Unable to trust
Scarred

I drift in and out of dreams
Some nightmares
Some a sweet escape
All visions of my broken reality

Are you pleased?
Are you happy?
Or do you regret it?
Recognize the mistake?

I'll never know your answer
I'll never have the courage to ask
Or to face the answer you give
In case it hurts me worse