Ending

I just always wanted

for life to just end.

I wanted

the bullshit to stop.

The memories

to go away.

All life ever did

was make things worse.

Never did good.

Never helped me through.

Things got

so hard at times.

Just wanted to die.

Suicide

was so tempting.

It would

end things.

It almost did.

But I got stopped.

I was then and there

only inches away from death.

Heaven.

Pure luxury.

But I couldn't do it.

I deserve

the hell in life.

What it brings me.

So when I do die...

I will be nothing but happy.

Happy in my own little

demon hell.

Thats all I've ever wanted,

But I think its gonna

take a damn long fucking time to get here...

My slow, little, painful death...

Its the way I'll die.

The way I deserve to.

And you will be damned well sure

I will welcome it

with every damn ounce of strength I have left.

Because any ending

is a lot better than living...