The Promises I Have Broken

My memories are muddled
Not old nor fresh.
All I know is the pain from them
Is marked across my flesh.

A yell is too loud
I cover my ears.
I close my eyes, I want to hide
Somehow escape my fears.

I promised a girl
I wouldn't do it again.
Instead I repeat
And love all the pain.

I promised a boy
I'd tell him what I did.
Instead I was ashamed
The wounds, I hid.

I promised a male
I'd talk to him if I was upset.
Instead I faked a smile
Forced to forget.

I promised myself
It wouldn't happen twice.
I wouldn't let somebody else in
I'd keep my heart as ice.

Instead I broke down
Admitted I needed a friend.
I let myself be loved
Created my own end.