My Curling Corners

And all I could do was just stand there.

knowing full where my irrational thoughts would lead me,
knowing full where what consequences beheld if I decided to leave,
decided to take action,
decided to leave.

Never looking back,
no more of this,
no more of that.

I'm tired.
Mentally broken.

My room
my safe haven,
no longer mine,
nothing to call my own
nobody to truly love
no one at all.

my bed,
my pillow,
tissue box,
alone cannot calm what is inside.

Paper, my victim
no one I dare to harm.

My mouth sown roughly shut,
with a dull needle.

I stand here with those irrational thoughts, that I dare not to write,
Where it will stay in my mind.
locked away in my mind.
Away in my mind,
Somewhere in my mind.
Lost within my mind.
gone insane within my mind.
I admit it
but only within my mind.

I'm going insane...
going... insane.
No longer can I be saved
no longer.

Standing knees locked,
just standing.
Tears burn my allergic eyes.
To strong am I to let them escape.

Broken mentally.
His words haunt me.
My own hero hates me
...my own hero... hates me.

I find myself alone standing.

Unable to complete a coherent thought:
2 more years,
2 more years...
is repeated.

An appetite to succeed long gone.
Nothing to feed the hunger arising.
Nothing,
Nothing.
My purpose to please,
is nothing to others.
My stupid ungrateful attempt:
My stupid ungrateful attempt to please.
A stupid attempt.

A stupid wish
to see things differently then others:
A stupid wish
never forgotten.

A dream to which will I never accomplish
how ridiculously stupid of me.
I'm done with this, good bye.
Forever.

No longer will I be.
No longer will you see.
No longer will my heart beat.

I stand no longer in this mess.
My life flows through my feet.

Nothing I feel like talking about
nothing is what I ask in return...
Just nothing.

So I can stand here alone.