confused

I finally got you by my side,
I finally have you as a close friend,
but if I have the one perrson that makes me so happy why do I feel so sad,
I feel so confused,
I am happy that I get to hold you again,
I am happy that you let me hold your hand,
I am happy that I get to kiss you again,
but right now all I want to do is cry and I just don't know why,
I feel so lost like a little kid at a carnival,
it feels like I am in some kind of maze and I can't find my way out,
I know I should be happy and I am its just something inside me is tearing apart,
I don't know what it is but its causing me pain,
I want to run far till my legs start to burn and then go numb and I will colapse right there and I won't do nothing but cry,
cause this confusion is hurting me,
this confusion is make me want to lose control,
I can't figure out why and that only makes me more confused,
I don't want to ask for help cause I don't know what to say, cause I don't have a real reason why I am so confused I just am, all I know is confusion sucks!!!