Lord Of The Purity Rings: Jonas Brothers Scandal In 3D

Ever since the Rolling Stones came around, rock and roll has become more about the performance, and the focus has been put on the lead singer's sex appeal rather than the lead singer's talent.

The last band to really be all about the music, no showy pyrotechnics or outrageous scandals included, were the Beatles. Although the Jonas Brothers say that their music isn't about pleasing their prepubescent fans, the evidence of this is sadly nowhere to be found in their G-rated 3D film.

In the movie, fans are thrown into the world of Jonas and are shown the hurricane of obsessive teens who love them, especially in one of the first scenes where Nick, Joe and Kevin are chased through traffic and to the roofttops of New York, all thanks to the desperate stalker girls who want to "have their babies." They are later taken to Madison Square Garden, the movie's centerpiece, via helicopter in classic Jonas style.

Although the movie shows the somewhat capable side of the brothers, most of the 116 minutes of blah consists of following Joe's every hip-swaying, microphone stand-throwing move. The crowd, both in the theater and in the concert itself, loves it and in true showmanship, Joe loves every second of the undivided attention as well.

Near the middle of the film, the Jonas Brothers disappear and the camera cuts to backstage, where the boys begin their costume change. Nick and Kevin nervously glance at the camera while, front and center, Joe eagerly rips his shirt off. He throws a mock stern look into the camera, but the shot is in the movie and that can't be an accident.

These are just a few examples of what seems like Disney pushing its boundaries, maybe some kind of expansion strategy. At one point, Disney was all about keeping the kids kid-like, but if the Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana are the role models they want the kids of today to emulate, then maybe the Disney corporation is priming kids for the more obvious signals of growing up, even if that includes the erotic signals of puberty.

Honestly, if I could compare the Jonas Brothers movie to anything even remotely interesting, I would say that it's like an inconspicuous sex-education film presented by the "purest" teacher in school. Oh, and his two brothers.