Deception - Comments

So I just stumbled across this. And... wow. I was pleasantly surprised by this story.
I started it yesterday and just finished it a few moments ago. It was that good.
This story was definitely, different. You have a really unique writing style. I've never quite seen anything like it, or if I have, it's been a hell of a long time since I've stumbled across similar writing.
It's a very sarcastic, sardonic type of writing... and it was pulled off nicely. Usually I can't really get into stories where the romance aspect doesn't evolve more, but I like how this played out. It was realistic. Probably one of the most realistic high school relationships I've ever seen, speaking of Alex and Kaleb, but also with the contrasting relationship that was Lori and Zack...
And it surprised me that Kaleb and Lori never spoke again. Usually in stories it's mended, but you chose not to do it which I also think is more lifelike because relationships can't always be mended. Sometimes they just fall apart.
As a constructive criticism, I feel like at some points where you skipped there was just a little too much skipped, as in, at times I had trouble realizing when it was even supposed to be taking place, and then just some detailing that was left out left me lost at times... like when her and Lori stopped talking for instance, I feel like the reasoning for that wasn't ever totally explained. Maybe that was the intention, to kind of be confused by that along the ride with the main character, but yeah... I still feel like I don't understand why they just got so pissed at each other. But I guess I understand it enough to be satisfied with the story.
I also feel like the relationship with Alex was a bit confusing, like, some details were left out that could have helped explain/understand it more... because one moment it just seems like they're friends and for the most part it seemed that way all throughout the story except for the tidbits where it said Alex was crushing on her. I feel like if he really did he would've made more of an attempt to date her, but again... maybe you were just trying to make it like reality, because in reality... it can be this confusing. Not always the cookie-cutter stuff.
But overall I enjoyed this story. Probably the most original writing style I ever read. You had me laughing more than I've done with a story and I couldn't believe some of the things that happened, like just like the raw vulgarness of it impressed me too. XD Great job with it and even though it's been long since finished, I just thought I would leave a comment letting you know people are still stumbling across it and enjoying it. :)

Would you by any chance do a sequel?! I love it!

So I'm sitting in school, and damn near crying. I can't believe it took me this fucking long to finish reading this story.
You amaze me. You always do.
I love you.

<3

D: Please tell me there's going to be a sequel! This was so good, talk about a cliffhanger ending! D;

I love how Kaleb didn't go back to her old friends, that would have actually ruined the end for me. I also liked how you ended it with realistic fears that people experience when they graduate from high school and head off on their own, and how they choose to deal with it. I really loved how you portrayed the fact that you never know what will happen in the future... this was just a beautiful ending to a great story.

It was amazing. Sucks that it's over! :/

I always love your Palahniuk references. : )
I also liked that Alex and Caleb didn't get together and also that she didn't go back to her old friends.
Great job!

Let me know if you start any other stories!

I love the way you chose to end this story.
Although I didn't cry when I left for college, I felt a lot like Miranda. Everything seemed like it was changing and I felt helpless to do anything about it.

On a lighter note, it's great how you left everything so open-ended between Miranda and Jack, as well as Alex and Kaleb. No matter your age, there's no way of knowing what'll happen in the future, and you portrayed that perfectly.

graduation was fun, i'm glad they got there and that you did too :) but i hope they aren't really so far apart!
and i like the little 'perks of being a wallflower' bit, i know how that feels. i do have two younger brothers, after all.

i really hope they stay best friends, and such.

Awww, congratulations on graduating! I can't wait until my university graduation, haha. The nostalgia of this chapter was just so intense, I loved it. Alex needs to bite the bullet and just talk to her. I look forward to the next update, =)

Graduation is awesome :) Except they spend too much time talking, in my opinion.
Awesome update!

Liked the nostalgia of this chapter.
Congrats on graduating!
Is there going to be another chapter?

I love this story.
I love the whole 'gossip stall' thing, makes it interesting.
I subscribed.
Update soon?

Haha, I adore Miranda. I found my prom wasn't what it cracked up to be, but I hope you had fun. I too loved how the janitors were looking at them strangely at McDonalds.

Love Miranda's character.
Prom is definitely overrated in general, but ignore my cynicism: hope you had a great time!
Can't wait to see what'll happen after graduation.

It sucks that Kaleb was poked and prodded by other girls at prom, but it's nice that she ended up going with Alex.

"You need to let him pretend that nothing important is happening anymore. We all need that. Sometimes, all we need is to be lied to."
Miranda made a really good point here. Everyone has those days when they need to hear that "everything is gonna be okay" even if the complete opposite is true.

Overall great chapter. I love how it ended in McDonalds with the janitors giving them weird looks.

Haha, Jack just cracked me up... but Alex's way of asking Kaleb to prom was just as cute if not more. I'm kind of thinking she'll say no while a tiny part of me is hoping she'll say yes. Because Alex kind of poured his heart out on paper for her... yeah I loved this update. I did notice a typo with the type of yogurt, just so you know. But other than that, it was really good.

Loved Alex's note at the end. Adorable.
But I'm a pessimist, so a huge part of me is thinking she'll say no.
Guess I'll have to wait and see : )

Oh, have you read Tell-All yet?

Although Jack's balloon and RC car were sweet, I think Alex's way of asking Kaleb to prom was equally adorable. While it was simple, he clearly put a lot of thought into how he's go about it. I admit that streaking at the track meet would have been pretty great, though ;)

if i wasn't supposed to be asleep right now, i would have screamed AWWWWWW real loud just now.

instead i made a stupid face.

i love this update, this story, evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvverything. <333