Monster. - Comments

This was so perfect. <3

You are an absolutely splendid writer.
I think I understand the story; I read one of your explanations, and worked it all out.
(Terribly sorry that my grammar is horrible, but it's 5 in the morning)
I must be getting to bed, but I thought I'd tell you how much I adored this two-shot.

This is absolutely beautifully written. Your style is amazing. The focus on imagery and metaphores makes the theme obvious (when you catch the hints) and impossible to find (when you don't).

I love the way you used projection to tell the reader of Frank's shortcomings. You didn't simply say, "This is who he is." You said, "This is who he knows he is; he just doesn't realize it yet."

The dream Frank has while smelling Gerard's coat actually seemed like it could happen in farther along in the story, and it nearly made my heart stop. When Gerard pulled him out of it, though, and Frank realized he was the monster, it was a beautifully constructed evolution of the story. The line, "I love you so much that I despise you" also informed the reader that, although he knows he's horrible, Frank isn't going to change.

Gerard's appearance after that, for me, got a lot softer and more innocent - a definite angel-demon situation. It made my heart go out to Gerard, who was trying so hard for the one he loved, and Frank, who was in an inescapable downward spiral that threatened his very livelihood. It allows the reader to feel sorrow more tangibly than any other way of writing the plot line could have.

I also have to commend you on originality. There are plenty of Ferards out there, and some even have a similar tainted innocence complex, but you managed to make a plot that people may have seen before into a short, bittersweet, gorgeous story. I would kill for that kind of talent.

Lastly, I'd like to compliment you on knowing when to stop the story. You gave it an interesting beginning, followed it up to a climax, gave room for falling action, and ended it. You're clearly no amateur.

Overall, you're a wonderful author. Well done.

Absolutely beautiful, you're an amazing writer.

This was so perfectly done.

I absolutely adore it when things are written so vaguely, so abstractly, and the writter leaves it up to the reader to reach their own conclusions. No, I haven't read the comments you left here, because I want to make up my own mind about what really happened.

I especially love the way Frank starts describing Gerard as such a hideous creature; how he went from being beautiful to being horrendous. I'm in love with stories in which the author starts saying the person he loves is ugly ugly ugly. In a really cathartic, psychotic way.

And the twist; how Frank was the monster all along. How, when he saw him, he was really seeing himself. He was breaking Gerard but hated the way he was still there for him, so he just made up his mind that he felt hatred towards the person he loved.

This was goddamned amazing, and I don't think any comment can do it justice. I've tried writing stuff similar to this, less dialogue more descriptions, but I personally think I end up in an endless amount of adjectives that make no sense at all.

And I can't help but notice how the last chapter was posted on my birthday.
But, honestly, this was really well done. I definitely have to check out your other stuff.

You are a effin amazing writer.
I loved this.
I don't even read fan-fic but when I saw the excerpt on the preview boards I was greedy for more. Seriously, thumbs up.

Wow. I usually don't read slash stories but I just have to say wow. That was fantastic.Better than anything I could ever write. Great job. :cute:

Very haunting. I loved it.

I'm thinking oh my God, but in the most amazing way.

I'm sorry for not commenting before, but I was so busy trying to get my stories updated I didn't have the time. But just... wow. I really love the stories that make you think, and the ones that a person sometimes doesn't quite understand. I had an idea of the ending, but until I read what you posted about it, it didn't click all the way. Seriously, I'm totally in love with this.

I really loved how you turned this all around, and how Frank was taking his hate out on the one he loved. You could have done what a lot of other authors have done here and kept Gerard as the monster, making it kinda predictable, but I love how you put such a spin on this. Like... how in the end it turns out Frank is the junkie, that was so unuiqe and perfect. Just... amazing.

I try to smile but my face hurts. My lips stand frozen in the same old permanent scowl that never leaves their pallid, bloodless flesh. I forgot what it felt like. Perfect, just perfect. You just paint such a vivid picture, and I love it.

That whole daydream was so amazing. The descriptions, like... The wind chime in front of the window tingles with slivers of some unknown melody, taunting my mind to think back to the time I lost. But nothing comes to me but the sensation of blood crusting on the surface of my palms, my face, my lips. Just wonderful, I really love the style you wrote this in. I know I sound like such a broken record, but it's true :XD

I am seeing him for the first time, I am seeing myself reflected in his eyes for the first time. And there, with sunken cheeks, wet hair covering his empty eyes and thin, quivering lips, caught in the liquid amber, stands this sad ruin of a man. This is probably one of my favorite paragraphs in the whole story, I just really like it. How he finally has this revelation is just described so well!

In his loving eyes…

…I am the demon.

The monster

Perfect ending. Completely and totally perfect. You know, I don't usually like slash. But this story is definitly on my top 10 list of stories I've ever read on mibba. Thank you for making this really unique, wonderful story. Really, I can't thank you enough.

Awesome job, and keep on writing

Ahh, I get it now.
Ugh, nasty school computer.
I shall read it again when I get home because this computer is ridiculous and blocks me from just about everything.
I think it might make more sense if I read both parts together.
^^

[small]Amazing.
And I actually got it first time.
It was an awesome follow up chapter.
I really liked it.
The description paints such a vivid picture in your mind.
Damnnn your good.
:)
x x x

That was bloody beautiul. Bloody being an important word there.
Oo-er, I've discovered a new good writer on here! I'm gonna go read your other stories if you have any!

Unapologetic Apathy:

yeah.... very confuzled...

I slightly get it.... Frankie is the monster he complains that Gee is.... ? and Gee is an angel and to good for demon Frankie? *tilts head* right?

Yep, sorta. Gee is the angel and Frank is so bitter about it that even though he tells him he loves him, he has to add the part that he despises him also, only to hurt him.

yeah.... very confuzled...

I slightly get it.... Frankie is the monster he complains that Gee is.... ? and Gee is an angel and to good for demon Frankie? *tilts head* right?

Boo.:

... uhh...
I didn't get it.
I loved it.
But I didn't get it.
I can appreciate beauty as it is though. One lesson learnt from the great Mr Wilde.

In the first chapter, Frank is describing Gerard as he sees him, all pathetic and ruined. He burns with hate for the man he also loves more than anything in the world.

Then in the second chapter, Frank breathes in the scent of Gerard's coat and with the scent he wakes up the buried part of his subconsciousness. In this "day-nightmare" Frank experiences, he sees himself as the murder of his lover - all that hate from the first chapter has finally been released (though only in his head).

The reason he so hates Gerard are his flaws, and Gerard's flaws aren't really Gerard's. Gerard is the perfect one.

In the first chapter, there were 2 paragraphs where Frank compared the before and after Gerard. The before Gerard was the real Gerard, and the second one was actually Frank who projected his flaws into his lover. He did that because he hated himself so much his mind could not take it and it had to diverge that hate somewhere else.

Ergo, the Gerard Frank is describing, is Frank himself.

That daydream was induced by the line in the book Frank was reading - You are the monster.

When the Gerard in his dream screamed the same words, that was the trigger that finally ended Frank's psychosis and he has seen himself for who he truly is for the first time- he's the junkie, the alcoholic and the anorexic one.

You have to pay attention to the small details. That's what this story is based on. :]

It makes perfect sense in my head, trust me. :lmfao

... uhh...
I didn't get it.
I loved it.
But I didn't get it.
I can appreciate beauty as it is though. One lesson learnt from the great Mr Wilde.

whoa amazingly well written

First of all, this is goregous. I don't come across many stories on this website that I can honsetly say that about, and this is one of them.

The way that Frank describes Gerard paints such a vivid picture for the reader. At least I found it to be that way for myself. How you describe Frank drowining in his guilt, no matter what, and how it's choking him, it's really something else. There are some people who can't use such powerful metaphors well at all, but you're definitly not one of them.

I can't help but feel sorry for both of them as I read about how Gerard is tormented by something, and Frank doesn't know what it is. Just how you described it... yet again, beautiful.

He thinks I can't see him when the needle digs into his skin or when the gushing red of his blood mixes in with the acrid white on the flecked mirror when he's sniffing up all his cracked-porcelain I-won’t-do-it-eve-agains. One of my favorite sentances, probably my favorite. It's hard to explain why exactly, but I love it.

Even as Frank is talking about how much he hates Gerard, I could still sense that some part of him still cared for the man. How he says he should just move out, how Gerard is just ugly now, and other things, but yet he hasn't moved out yet... that just says to me that some part still cares for his lover.

Something so innocent and pretty, something so lovable and yet completely infested with something so ugly and cursed. Monster. Another one of my favorites. Simply beautiful.

The cold of his body infects mine and the remaining embers of my rage hiss and die, rendering me helpless. This was a perfect ending in my opinion, great job.

This is gorgeous.
Completely and utterly beautiful, really.

Woah.
I think...I don't even know...this is written amazingly though.
*worships you*
Keep writing it?
Please?
*begs*