A Demon's Only Wish - Comments

  • twistedjennifer2

    twistedjennifer2 (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Location:
    United States
    Please don't end it there. Its a great story. Sorry I haven't commented I've worked nonstop for weeks now.
    August 24th, 2009 at 01:47pm
  • simplyXsara

    simplyXsara (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United States
    "Your imagery is very convincing and enthralling. It keeps me glued to the story" said akashasspawn
    I agree with her completely on that. Its like a piece of really good cake, you can't put it down until you've ate every last bie.

    I actually think I'm jealous, I truly wish I could come up with such an inticing plot. This story seems to have almost all of the componants for an amazing novel. You've got complex characters, a unique enviorment, a dangerous situation and ofcourse the Seven Deadly Sins.

    The only things I see that are needed; more knowledge on what the characters are feeling and thinking & the amount of questions are still unanswered.

    Over all this story is a definite 9 & 1/2
    August 23rd, 2009 at 05:49pm
  • Aprilette

    Aprilette (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    United States
    ^ ^ ^ Smiley
    August 16th, 2009 at 03:10am
  • hellwin.

    hellwin. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    Your imagery is very convincing and enthralling. It keeps me glued to the story. I particularly enjoyed chapter 6. You were able to not only describe the demon realm and its customs, but also develop the plot and sprinkle a bit of action and suspense at the end.

    As far as I can see there are no grammar and spelling errors that need to be corrected and your sentences flow very well. I love the layout for the story as well. Congrats on scaring the crap outta me as I scrolled down when I was reading the first chater. :D

    I will definitely keep reading. I wish I could write as well as you. :) And the fact that it's all your idea is even more amazing.
    August 15th, 2009 at 07:07am
  • hellwin.

    hellwin. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    You're gonna scare the poor Alice half to death.... Loving every second of this story. :)
    August 15th, 2009 at 06:52am
  • hellwin.

    hellwin. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    I love the imagery in the chapters I've read so far. It reall grabs my attention and keeps me wanting to read more. :)
    August 15th, 2009 at 06:47am
  • hellwin.

    hellwin. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    Disgust That bastard needs to be choked with his own insides... I hope Devon does something about him. :D
    August 15th, 2009 at 06:43am
  • hellwin.

    hellwin. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    Loved the first chater. It has me hooked already. I shall sub. Muahahahaha... *on to chapter 2* :D
    August 15th, 2009 at 06:32am
  • twistedjennifer2

    twistedjennifer2 (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Location:
    United States
    I think he if falling hard and fast for her.. I can't wait to see what is going to happen.. For some reason jack is stuck in my head like he might be planning or might do something.
    August 12th, 2009 at 02:31pm
  • Losing.Alice

    Losing.Alice (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    25
    Location:
    United States
    Your doing good with describing Devon's world and how his mind works.
    Now I want to know what Alices thoughts on Devon are its been awhile since I've gotten to really look into her head.
    I hope Devon almost having/having sex with Z will help him uncover what he's feeling
    My big questions are : What does Scipio want with Alice? & How/Where will Alice and Devon be safe?
    I love watching your writing improve, your outstanding XD
    August 12th, 2009 at 09:02am
  • UnpredictablePr

    UnpredictablePr (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    34
    Location:
    United States
    i luv the story
    August 12th, 2009 at 03:48am
  • AimiAiko

    AimiAiko (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    Canada
    I really enjoy your story. Just something different from what everyone else writes here on Mibba. I can't wait for the update to see how everything plays out. Really enjoying this story, so please finish it right to the end.
    August 12th, 2009 at 01:50am
  • Twiggy.

    Twiggy. (105)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    27
    Location:
    Canada
    I’m reviewing as I go along, so I’ll point out things bit by bit :]
    I’m starting on chapter two. Hope it’s detailed enough; my mum is bickering on the phone a few feet away from me and gets distracting. I’ll try my best for you though.
    The bright city lights caused Devon to hiss in pain. Those darned humans, always needing to create brighter lights and once they created the brightest, they moved on like the idiots they were and made them colorful.
    I quite like this passage, just as it gives an insight of how Devon thinks of humans. Which I think is important in such a story as this. I like the entire following few passages after it actually as well, Why would an innocent be with these type of women?

    Humans.

    It reflects us as humans. And what better way to do this by using someone/something that isn’t human.
    I can’t really find anything wrong with this story at all so far. Its very well written :] Not exactly my type of story, but I think this is interesting.
    August 11th, 2009 at 08:46pm
  • Aprilette

    Aprilette (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    United States
    ** now your 30th subscribers**
    :arms:

    ----------

    Ohai top post! Wow
    August 10th, 2009 at 03:41am
  • astronaut.

    astronaut. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    Canada
    Jesus Christ, I'm really sorry. I have to go now too, so this comment will be very short. I either missed a couple chapters or I couldnt remember the last ones I read, but I reread them anyway and I do really like this.
    August 9th, 2009 at 04:05pm
  • MGMT

    MGMT (250)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    United States
    I saw you reccing this in the forums, and I fell in lust with the excerpt so I just had to read it.

    *Haven't read it yet, just telling you that I will.

    .. and I'm subscribing :con:.
    August 9th, 2009 at 01:58am
  • fugazii

    fugazii (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United States
    Keep up the good work =D
    August 9th, 2009 at 12:24am
  • Juliet Capulet.

    Juliet Capulet. (105)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    27
    Location:
    United States
    I didn't enjoy that semi-rape scene, tbh.
    Demons for some reason just...aren't that cool to me. However, you do make the story extremely intriguing. You're really good at writing suspense and building up a lot of tension. Maybe add a little more, throwing in a good bit more of small complications with small climaxes as well.
    Good job.
    August 8th, 2009 at 09:19am
  • Juliet Capulet.

    Juliet Capulet. (105)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    27
    Location:
    United States
    From the Story/Review Game.
    I'm not usually a fan of stories about the supernatural/fantasy, or anything like that, but this is actually quite interesting. Very unique~!
    August 8th, 2009 at 08:49am
  • Aprilette

    Aprilette (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    United States
    ^^My banner has been condemned Smiley
    August 5th, 2009 at 10:32pm