Eclipse - Comments

This flows so well. You had me right in the palm of your hand from the very first line and I loved the way in the end that Anthony could only ever be called Tony now. So simple but extremely well written.

Very well done you are a very talented individual.

Instead, they cheated me.
Quite possibly, my favorite line of them all. It captured the loss without overdoing it. It's a tricky line to walk, especially with one-shots. How to make the reader understand without making it sappy and disgusting?
But you did it.
And you say my work is good...pshposh.

Oh, my gosh. I totally loved it. It hooked me, first line. I'm gonna read your other stuff now!

I love one-shots and particularly this one. One-shots can be so hard to write, but I think you nailed it:) For me, I think it was because it was kinda original and very very sad. I never lost a friend in that way, but I know the feeling... And I loved the intro, with the feeling of helplessness - that was very well written ^_^

I still like it...but why is it suddenly appearing? What did you change?

I liked it!

very well written i like it although it made me very sad
and reminded me of some people that i had lost to fakeness
keep going i want to know what happenes

Yeah, I agree, the name is just perfect.
Great story, well done.
It's really sad and I think that it is a lot more meaningful than a lot of the overdramatic stories about suicide and death on this website. Not that it isn't sad when you lose someoone to suicide, it's just that those kind of stories can become clichéd.
But this one is very original, and tragic in a subtle way.
Well done, you have talent!:)
<3<3

No, not based on the real Tony (my neighbor) and it was inspired by the Pink Floyd song "Brain Damage" off of Dark Side of the Moon. Eclipse is actually the song that comes right after it on that album, but I thought the name fit :D
Thanks you guys!

it was really deep, and very reltaable. It was beautiful, I love it... but was it based on "Tomy" Like castaway said?

Very well writen. very deep too. and Eclipse is the perfect name for it!

what inspired it? I was just wondering. Are you talking about the real Tony?

I need to talk to you. About something else.

About this, though:
This makes me sad. I know what it's like to feel like you've lost someone even though they're not dead...on the outside, anyway. The music works well. I had it playing on the 'Pod. The lines worked well together and almost matched up with my reading speed perfectly, which is hard to do since I read 700wpm. Eclipse would also be perfect for it. Very, very well done. And thanks for commenting on Echo. It means a lot to me. I even wrote you a little note back. :)