Slip Away. - Comments

Now this is wishful thinking because I don't think this is being updated again, which is quite upsetting. I love this. The way you have more than one relationship being shown is fantastic and I just love, I don't really know what else to say! I love it plain and simple!

Amazing story :] can't wait to hear what happens with Lee and Jamie :D

Apologies for the wait for feedback. I'll try and make this make up for it. :cute:

I like reading the parts that aren't from Jamie's point of view, because I like seeing other people's points of view on the whole thing. It's quite obvious that Ian cares for his friend, and is scared that Lee will hurt him. He doesn't like the sad Jamie and wants Jamie to stay happy. I'm not sure that Ian likes Lee all too much - quotes such as they might have ended up arguing or something. Or he might have upset Jamie... again and didn’t fancy being there while Lee broke Jamie’s heart again all over again imply that Ian thinks the worst of Lee; that he's out to hurt Jamie and Ian'll never give him the benefit of the doubt.

The banter between Ian and Sean is humorous, and it gives the story a nice lift from Ian previously mentioning how Lee is going to break Jamie's heart again. It's obvious that Ian and Sean have quite a close companionship - even if they don't class it as a relationship - and they're really close as human beings. I love how you've written the pair of them. How Sean makes Ian feel like a different person...that's stunning writing.

I like how Sean makes Ian stay at his, without Ian realising what he's doing. :tehe: ’m guessing you don’t really want to go home, seeing as you might find Jamie and Lee either shagging or screaming at each other... he seems to get Ian to stay by suggesting that, and I think that Sean only really said that so that Ian would stay the night with him. Very sneaky but cute at the same time. :XD

And oh, Sean. Ever the gentleman. As long as I can fuck your brains out, of course! ~~ <-- he totally did that face as he said it. And how he says that Ian is his bitch. Usually Sean is the bitch, so hearing that Ian is apparently the bitch is a nice change. :tehe:

The scene between Ian and Sean was written incredibly well. There wasn't too much and there wasn't too little. There was a nice balance. I liked the little details, such as I felt him grin and I ran my tongue over my bottom lip as I moved towards him. Little details like this give the story a few dimensions and gives it a more lifelike quality.

This was really cute - the sofa that I was sure Gavin’s mum had donated to the boys from her own living room - it's nice how his mum has donated a sofa, and it also shows that they have their feet still on the ground - they're not running about spending money all over the place.

Sean often falls asleep after sex. It's obvious that they've done this a lot! ~~ I like how comfortable Ian is with announcing this. And how he's just content to lie there with him, although he's debating on going somewhere. The fact that he chooses to stay there with Sean is symbolic about their "relationship", they don't like to be apart when it's not necessary.

The last line was also brilliant. We lay together in that embrace, not caring that Rhys or Gavin could come in at any time and get the prettiest shock of their life. This symbolises the fact that they don't mind who knows about them, or what they've just done.

Loved this update. :arms:

I'm glad Ian gets a chapter where something nice happens to him instead.
Taking away from whats going on with Jamie and Lee, as much as I love them :D

Awh!

Ian shouldn't worry, Sean clearly wants him :)

Good chapter :D

Ooooh.

I liked the Seanishness of that. Obviously. He seems to be really rather intune with Ian, which is possibly what is making Ian feel uncomfortable. He can guess what he's feeling, thinking and generally what he wants, like staying over. This seems to make E a bit uneasy, he's not used to feeling so...open i guess. He normaly likes to just be him, be confident, where as with Sean that's not as easy.

The little dash of sexual content their was very nice. I liked the slight battle for control going on between them, playing rough. :weird
Ian seemed to get a sense of himself here and prove that he can be dominant somtimes, he doesn't really want to be Sean's bitch. :XD

Aw. He's just so...panicy! Poor Ian. He didn't know if he could stay or anything, it was a little sad really. It seems like he couldn't decide if he'd be...allowed...almost to stay, that Sean would totally discard him after sex. He even said "that's all i'm good for" which is really shit.
I'm glad that Sean told Ian to calm down and not worry so much.

They really are quite a sweet couple. But, you can tell there's an undertone of something going on.

xx

*is very late in reading and leaving feedback.*
But wow! You're writing is just :cheese:

I love the way Jamie focuses on his hair. It's like he's trying to escape from what's going on right in front of him, but all the memories of bathrooms just brings him back.

Jamie seems to have told himself that Lee is just out to hurt him and can't look at him, but when Lee tries hard enough, he can get Jamie's attention.
And Lee finds it awkward when he's about to tell Jamie everything. About how much he loves him.

Jamie's outburst was quite scary. He was always really quiet, but just had to let out everything and Lee seemed quite scared to.

But it ended so beautilfully. They're so in love and it just gives so much hope that everything will always work out in the end. They're just so perfect together.

I so loved that update.
And your writing is made of win. :cute:

Double.

Mibba couldn't cope with the awesomeness of this update.

Oh my. I loved this one. You've got a really great writing style. I adore your writing. It's mega awesome.

Jamie seems quite self-conscious about his hair being greasy when Lee arrived. He wants to look perfect for him and he really seems focused on that, even though Lee's speaking to him. Lee's words just seem to pass through him and all he can focus on is his greasy hair, and how it hung down in his face and itched him. He's focused on the bad things, rather than noticing that Lee is here for him.

Perhaps the reason that he hasn't showered or bathed is because he has bad memories in them, and by going in there, his memories confront him and make him feel sad. Maybe that was why he was so optimistic in the part before, because he hadn't been in the bathroom for a long period of time. :think:

Lee keeps trying to get through to Jamie, but I think that as soon as Jamie set eyes on Lee, all the bad memories resurfaced and he's feeling down with it all. Lee's pleading with him to listen, but Jamie can't. I honestly don't think he's allowing himself to listen to him. He's put his barriers up again and doesn't want them to break, like they do every other time with him.

He stammered slightly, fidgeting with his belt nervously as he sat in his seat. - Lee feels awkward around Jamie because of the situation and he's trying to calm himself down by doing things to distract his mind.

But still, Jamie's lost in his thoughts. The times he stops to breathe is when he notices Lee. Out of all the people in the world who didn’t love me, why him? Why Lee? Why should he be the one I loved, so kindly, so blindly? Here, Jamie is begging to know answers. He wants to ask Lee but he seems too scared to do it. He doesn't want to hear the reaction. He thinks that it will hurt him, just like it's done in the past.

And then Jamie just lets all his bottled-up emotion release and Lee gets the full butt of this. I think Lee knows deep down inside that he kind of deserves it, though, and he just lets Jamie scream at him at first, and doesn't make a response to him. He seems to want Jamie to yell at him and make him feel bad. Lee’s piercing blue eyes were even wider than before, a frightened expression set into his face. He opened his mouth but didn’t speak. He doesn't quite know what to do.

Lee moves to go, but then he decides against it and has second thoughts. And then he kisses him and the impression is given that everything is going to get better.

I'm intrigued to see where you're going to take this now. I loved it.

:cheese:

EMOTIONS!

How the hell do you do that? Every chapter i start a comment and think, and sometimes write, "this was my FAVOURITE one" then you go and better it even more and just...wow.

This story just gets more and more amazing. Your writing is fantastic, and holy hell i could pratically every roaring emotion that raged though that update. :cheese:

Jamie just seemed so...lost at first. Like he couldn't peice together the right situations, just drunken shattered memories that sort of related to what was happening, but not really. Until he got the right ones...then snapped.

When he was screaming at Lee i was all leaning into the screen, probably with some shocked "omglykenuwayjamie!" look on my face as all those feelings came out. Holy Fiona Bruce that was some deep seated shit going on though his mind there :cheese:!

I'm so glad Lee finally told him though.
And blatantly did it in the best way ... ~~

Declaring your love by screaming and swearing and holding the person tightly is always the best way to go. :cute:

Fucking. Epic.

I bow down to you, kind sir.

xx

Finally! This was sooo well written!

Awwh yay!

It as so emotional :'(

But it all turned better :D

I so owe you a lot of feedback. So I'll try. :cute:

Firstly, the chapter from Lee's pov. :cheese:
I love how he goes through his past to find out why he made things awkward for himself now. It gives a lot about his past and it's so good. And it's nice to know that Lee does actually love Jamie and the way you describe just how he loves him.
It gives me hope that something will happen between them, since they're both still so in love with each other and Lee ended up at Ian's to talk to Jamie. It's so lovely.

And chapter six.
Mike has to be the cutest!
This is such a cheerful chapter compared to the last, both as amazing as each other. It just shows you can write two ways extremely well. :cute:

I love the way he wakes up. It's like he's all grumpy. :tehe: And woken up by a super happy person claiming to be Harry Potter. :XD Harry's a bit excitable, which obviously isn't appreciated by Mike since he was just woken up.

And Stu and Mike are the most adorable couple in the whole world. It starts with Mike not wanting to wake Stu up, like he's looking after him, but then Stu tells Mike he should go to the party and have fun and be happy. And Stu's threat to punch anyone who hurts Mike

The end totally made me smile loads. Mike was annoyed about being woken up, but Stu suggests something that doesn't involve sleep, he's fine. :tehe:

This story is so mega good. :weird and sorry for not leaving feedback sooner. :cute:

Awwh poor Mike! I feel bad that people use and hate him =/

Him and Stu are quite cute together actually hehe

Pfft. I don't know why you thought this wasn't worthy of a review. I thought it was brilliant. So there. :hand:

It was very convincing how you wrote Mike waking up. Like, he's all groggy and wonders what the beeping is for a while, because his brain hasn't switched on and he's still half-asleep. It's like he's still dreaming, and it was sweet how even though he wasn't all-too awake, he was still able to think of Stu and how he was sleeping like a baby.

Sleeping like a baby - it implies that Mike absolutely adores him and wants to look after him, and protect him from the world, because he's his. I loved that imagery.

When he knocks off the digital radio, it shows that he really isn't awake, and all he really wants to do is go back to sleep and forget about whatever is beeping. The sudden realisation when he worked out that it was his phone ringing was good, too.

Harry sounds like a contrast from Mike. He seems all "IN YOUR FACE" whereas Mike's a lot quieter, more so because he's so sleepy. But Harry seems to be like an alarm clock that won't be shut off, so I think that he wakes Mike up fully.

The humour - where he referred to himself as Harry Potter, for instance - was great. The Mike and Stu scenes seem to be a lot lighter than the Jamie scenes and it's good to have a mixture of happy and sad scenes in a story. I feel that you do this really well, especially with this story. You've hit the hammer on the head and the mixture is just right.

I liked how Mike didn't know he was straight away, and how he had to be reminded about who this man really was. His reaction was very realistic too - What did you want... It’s kind of late man, I was asleep. I think you could have done with a question mark after "What did you want", rather than three full stops, but that's just my opinion.

Harry seems a bit full of himself. He seems quite disregarding of other people's feelings, and only really wants to talk about himself. Like, he called at some ridiculous time in the morning and expected Mike to be awake.

Mike seems quite tuned into Stu, watching him as he turned over in his slumber as he gets screamed at by Harry. He seems worried that Stu will wake up, because he feels it's partly his fault, because it was his phone that had rung, and if Stu wakes up then it'll be because of him.

Mike seemed to shun Harry a little towards the end, I'm wondering if something happened between them at some stage that made things a little bit awkward between them. Perhaps that will be explained later on in the story. Either way, I'm really intrigued as to why Harry and the invite to his stag party was included in this story. So I'll be looking forward to seeing this idea develop.

Mike seems relieved when the phone call ends, and Stu is immediately asking him about what the call was about. :tehe: Stu seems to be quite ready to ask questions, he doesn't really seem all that sleepy so perhaps he'd been awake for a little while before the phone rang.

Stu's like the voice of reason, saying that Mike should go to this party because he never goes out. He's very encouraging to him, probably to make him feel better about stuff, and he tells Mike that he only wants him to be happy, which is absolutely adorable. The pair of them must think the world of each other.

The ending of the part was great. :tehe: that’s not what beds were made for Damn right, when it comes to them two. :XD

I loved this update. It was just as good as the other two parts. :cute: Hope this review makes up for my shitty comment last time. :tehe:

Double. Mibba couldn't cope with the awesomeness of this update.

:lmfao

I love Stu! :XD

That last line was epicly inspired :tehe:

He's very sweet to Mike. It doesn't sound like Mike is very close to many people, probably the band and that's it, he seems far too worried about how other people will treat and persieve him to be near anyone else. I'm glad he agreed to go though, it might do him good. And Stu'll protect him otherwise.

The writing in this was awesome XD

The first part in particular, it was kinda staggered and projected how confused Mike was about being woken up at such a unhuman time of the night. So mush so that he doesn't have a clue what's actually waking him up.

Bless :tehe:

We got to get a bit deeper into Mike's little mind here, and it was really good. He's an intriguing cardi-wearing little bloke :cute:

Awesome hon.

xxx

I'm really not in the happiest of moods right now. So I really think this feedback is going to suck. But I'm already late with leaving it and I feel bad for it. So here goes. I'll try my best.

This part was great. I loved that it was Lee's point of view because it really brought across what had happened well. I think it was best hearing what had happened from Lee, rather than Jamie. Since Lee was the one that broke Jamie, and everything.

I like how Lee picks at his faults, it shows that he's not perfect like Jamie makes him out to be, and it also shows that characters aren't perfect. I much prefer characters to have flaws, rather than be OMFGPERFECTINEVERYWAY.

Lee's also quite similar to Jamie, in the respect that they both really adore the other, thinking that they're absolutely amazing and perfect. He also seems to feel a lot of regret for him being the heartbreaker, rather than it being Jamie. He seems kind of jealous of Jamie too.

I loved how you took the time to describe their relationship in detail and it definitely answered a few nagging questions in my mind.

And how Lee thinks he's weak, to Jamie, how when they got intimate he almost felt like he shouldn't, in case he ruined Jamie or something.

I'm looking forward to the next update. I am eager, as always.

Sorry this feedback was kinda rubbish...

Omg, update soon, yeah???????

...that's code for I'm going to leave better feedback tomorrow.

u shld, lyk , so upd8 this :file:

...

:lmfao

That was awesome! Poor Lee. It's so sad how neither of them can quite see what the other is going through. All Lee wants to do is protect himself, bless him. You put it all across really well; it was very emotional. I love how he gets so wrapped up in his thoughts he doesn't even notice where he's going, and yet he still subconsciously ends up heading towards Jamie. It all seems very symbolic to me.

I love this heaps and heaps.
And I'm sorry I didn't leave feedback before :arms: