This was really well written, in my opinion one of your best.
The opening was very strong, what with Jamie just sitting there not saying a word. It's like he's already died in a way, because he's sitting there not saying a word and being still.
Ian's quite an intriguing character, and it's incredibly sweet how he wishes that he could have done something to stop Jamie and Lee, rather than just wolf-whistling them. It shows that he cares about his friend.
The next part is so sad, when Ian describes himself as hearing a choked, uncontrollable sob from the bathroom and it makes you wonder about what entirely went on. :think:
And then you can really tell that Jamie's been really hurt by everything, because he acts like a zombie, now dead inside because of what Lee has done to him.
And the line Jamie was older than me is quite significant, because he's like a child almost, staying in bed and not doing anything.
Ian feels like it's his fault that everything happens, in a way, because he keeps putting himself down. Useless Ian.
This was an absolutely amazingoneshot chapter. :cheese: Wish I could write as well as you.
:cute:
This was really well written, in my opinion one of your best.
The opening was very strong, what with Jamie just sitting there not saying a word. It's like he's already died in a way, because he's sitting there not saying a word and being still.
Ian's quite an intriguing character, and it's incredibly sweet how he wishes that he could have done something to stop Jamie and Lee, rather than just wolf-whistling them. It shows that he cares about his friend.
The next part is so sad, when Ian describes himself as hearing a choked, uncontrollable sob from the bathroom and it makes you wonder about what entirely went on. :think:
And then you can really tell that Jamie's been really hurt by everything, because he acts like a zombie, now dead inside because of what Lee has done to him.
And the line Jamie was older than me is quite significant, because he's like a child almost, staying in bed and not doing anything.
Ian feels like it's his fault that everything happens, in a way, because he keeps putting himself down. Useless Ian.
This was an absolutely amazingoneshot chapter. :cheese: Wish I could write as well as you.