I have to say, this story was rather confusing. For instance, you say in the summary that Kayla and Jodie are sisters, yet, within the text it seems like their relationship is more of "friend-enemys". For instance: "I hated Jody. I hated her the second I saw her." This made me think they had maybe been friend's or enemys at some point. So, it would be nice to have some clarification on that. I was also thinking, that, maybe they were split personalities; maybe Jody was a personality of Kayla, used when her uncle molested her. Put some detail about their actual relationship.
You have the steady buildup to the moment in the house of mirrors, which I assumed would be a defining moment for the character of Kayla. However, the scene in the house of mirrors seemed very rushed. I would have liked to see some detail. Like, was there any strange architecture in the house of mirrors, or were the mirrors distorting reality etc etc.
The ending of the story didn't really match up with the beginning. The beginning ws about how she hated Jody and she realized this darkness in Jody "too late" yet the ending didn't make any reference to this, which was why I was confused. Maybe try to connect in it someway through the narration, just to make the story more clear.
With that said, the story is organized, just put some more narration and detail within the story to make it more clear. You have a good concept, add to it. :)
You have the steady buildup to the moment in the house of mirrors, which I assumed would be a defining moment for the character of Kayla. However, the scene in the house of mirrors seemed very rushed. I would have liked to see some detail. Like, was there any strange architecture in the house of mirrors, or were the mirrors distorting reality etc etc.
The ending of the story didn't really match up with the beginning. The beginning ws about how she hated Jody and she realized this darkness in Jody "too late" yet the ending didn't make any reference to this, which was why I was confused. Maybe try to connect in it someway through the narration, just to make the story more clear.
With that said, the story is organized, just put some more narration and detail within the story to make it more clear. You have a good concept, add to it. :)