it made me almost cry...beautiful
February 5th, 2009 at 05:38am
The beginning really sucked me in. The way the girl was so damaged. How she really almost refused to believe that she was so messed up. The line about the cross [She wears a golden cross around her neck. She claims to still believe in God, although the man sees her tears and her frightened eyes. He knows she lost all hope long ago and he’s glad.] Was really good. How she wore it even though it was a known fact that she had given up on religion. It just goes to show how far people will go to seek some sort of acceptance. She knew (or at least I'd assume that she knew) that God will accept virtually anybody so she looked to him for just that even though she wasn't sure if a God was really there. I hope that sentence made sense. Either way I thought that part was really cool. :mrgreen:
Another thing I thought was just brilliant was that it wasn't a stereotypical stalker romance. It wasn't even a real romance. She knew the guy, she talked to him and everything was completely unaware of how obsessed he was with her. His motive was interesting as well. He wanted to fix her, in order to make up for his past mistakes. They're both broken and they don't even truly realize it. It's actually quite sad if you really take the time to think about it.
This line: He’s sweet and he cares, and he didn’t stare at the pills quizzically. It was like he understood, but in all honesty he didn’t. The only reason he wasn’t caught off guard by them was from the days he had watched her before. (or lines I guess I should say) were really cool. He's putting on some kind of an act. Here's this girl who thinks she's finally found someone who understands her and he's just like the rest --- only worse. She thinks that he doesn't mind and isn't put off by all of the pills scattered across the floor and the only reason he's not surprised is because he's been watching her. I thought that was a nice thing to add. Normally little details such as that one would be overlooked.
They were right, the world was wrong, but no, she didn’t truly know wrong, he was about to show her just how wrong the world was. I liked this. It might just be one of my favorite lines. It makes him sound even more sadistic than he really is. The way it was blunt. Straight to the point. She's right but she's wrong. It's almost as if he lives off of the pain he's causing all of these women. Or maybe he is. He knows from the start that she's troubled and his main goal is to make her life even worse. Makes me almost hate the guy. [
] but I don't. I actually pity his character. The world has wronged him and he knows it so he's trying to prove that he can do worse in a way. A very tortured kind of person.Fate always had been one to choose favorites. Gosh... what to say about that. That line is very poetic in a sense. The personification of fate... and the favorites thing. Dear lord, woman. I don't know where on Earth you came up with this line, but it almost made the story. I loved it. Simply loved it.
The part about him falling in love with her... in my opinion I didn't believe that he had. I really think that he just wanted to fall in love with her because he was so tired of being alone. After being alone for so long -- and it doesn't help that he's getting older -- you can force yourself into believing something that isn't true. He was lonely and she was there. You would think it was the other way around, and it was it just went both ways. Maybe that wasn't the point, but thats what I took from it. I like thinking of it in that sense.
He screamed and shook her, he cried and kissed her, but nothing roused her body. She wouldn’t be waking up again in this lifetime, but he had fixed her, he had saved her, if only from himself. This part confused me and added to my love for this all at the same time. In my eyes, she was still as broken as she was in the beginning. I mean... I didn't really see that much of a change in her other than the fact that she was blinded by the guys charm and was seemingly happy. If she was truly happy at all. I think she just wanted to feel safe.
So... how did he save her? I didn't get that, then again maybe I'm not supposed to? :|
:cheese: :cheese: :cheese: The ending, the ending, the ending. I loved it. His whole plan just went KABOOM and backfired against him. [He felt his whole life crashing down around him; it felt as if the world was against him. But no, only fate was against him. Fate always had been one to choose favorites. ] You would think that Fate would choose the girl because well... that guy was so good at what he did, you know? But after he killed her he was all alone. Again. Nothing had changed and he was even more miserable than he was in the beginning. I loved that.
All in all I loved this so much. I normally don't like het stories as much as I liked this so that really says something. It was so well executed and I'm glad you entered it. You truly deserved to win. :mrgreen: